My mom shouts at me as much as she can,her eyes turn into red. I can see her jugular vein. I wanna talk but I can’t open my mouth,her movements are uncontrollable now. Then she stops and it’s my turn. I can’t believe in myself,I scream as if I’ve never talk so far. There are so many people staring at me in the room but I don’t care about them. The more I scream,the less I can breathe. I’m sweaty and I can’t breathe now,but I still keep on talking. I feel tizzy.
I wake up soaking wet,breathe deeply and try to not crying. I thought that would end somehow,someday,somewhere. But it didn’t. I never get along with her even in my dreams. Or should I say nightmares?
I turn on the table light and look at my silver wristwatch. What the fuck! It’s just 4.30am! That means I sleep just for 2 hours. I must take some sleeping bill. If I drank your herbal teas,it could work you fucker Turks! I cover myself with fragrant bedspread and try to sleep more. But it seems impossible with that fucking headache! I get up from the bed and run to the bathroom. Am I the only one who loves the smell of bleach? My nose could bleed because of this. I don’t like laying in bath,then my hands turn into wrinkled. Eeew.
I’M A DESPERADOOO UNDERNEATH YOUR WINDOWWW I SEE YOUR SULIET ARE YOU MY JU… Okay it’s enough for singing Ricky Martin songs because my voice sucks. I take a shower and walk into the room with my wet feet. I open all the windows,warm air gets in the room. The sun is about to rise. My hair starts to dry,thank God I don’t need a hairdrier. There is no make-up today even mascara. I put on my coat shorts and a big t-shirt saying “Hawaii Dreams”. Mine can’t count as a dream nowadays.
I haven’t a plan for today,I guess I will walk along the seaside. I don’t wanna eat anything,maybe just fresh orange juice.It’s only 5.15am but I’m going to waaaaalllllkkkkkkk! I don’t take my iPod,phone,watch or anything else. I’m gonna be all alone today. I just wanna wander maybe till I feel hungry. There is no place that I have to go,I don’t need to call anyone and I have limitless time. This is pure freedom. FREEEEDOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMM! God bless you Braveheart.
I don’t know how much I walked,I ruminated and I don’t remember anything. Oh God I feel dizzy,I sit on the beach and close my eyes. I blench with a voice. “Excuse me,can you tell me what time is it?”. I can’t look at his face because my head as heavy as an elephant. “I haven’t watch or phone,sorry.” I say. He carries on “So can’t you tell me it’s 8 o’clock?”. Perfect,now I have a pervert. I keep my silence but it seems he won’t shut up. “Actually you were sitting motionless here for 20 minutes I asked the time because.. You know coming here and saying ‘are you okay?’.. It would be weird,maybe rude and you’d say ‘Who the hell are you? Get the fuck out,I’m alright!’. Then I’d go on my way with my broken heart..” he laughs,me either. I look at his face for the first time but I can’t see him thoroughly because my eyes are getting dark. He sits next to me,his big bright eyes are looking at me with a smile,I can see his deep dimples and a fedora. Brilliant! I should’ve put on mine too!
-Well Ms. Hippi..
I interrupt. “Hippi?”
“You have not a watch,phone or something else. Where is your caravan? Huh? WHERE IS YOUR CARAVAN?” he looks around. I say “I’d like to be a hippi girl but unfortunately I’m not.”
-Sure you’re not,you haven’t a rasta hair!
I haven’t laughed this hard for a loooooooooonngggg time! He says “Well ‘Ms. cannot be hippi’ , I’m Bruno. Bruno Mars.”